MY wife and I have been married for just over 8 years. There are things in this book, very insightful things that really made sense to me. I don't read all that often, but i was really, really glad that i read this book. I would recommend married couples read this book wether or not they are having sexual mis connection issues or not. The insights on communication alone are awesome. Things my wife has been trying to tell me, (through one way or another) that never really sank in really made sense in this book. Really proves the point how important communication is. And communication isn't talking at each other and assuming that the other person understands what you are saying. You really need to make sure you are truly communicating your point to your partner.. and that your partner truly and correctly interprets what you are saying. I read this book in a couple sittings and have convinced my wife to read it. I really hope that it opens up a good dialog between us.This book also really shows how the push and pull in a relationship works..and that my actions will cause her reactions.. which could be good or bad. Seems really simple.. but it goes so much more deeper than one would think. Things like constantly doing things for your spouse, will cause them to never think about doing it themselves eventually. If a wife always takes out the trash, eventually the husband literally will never think about taking the trash out. Seems ridiculous.. but its quite true. If i literally never think about it, eventually it could led my wife to feel i am lazy and not willing to help out around the house.. its completely not the case, but reading through this really helped me realize. How important communicating more effectively is. She could ask me to take out the trash.. and if I am busy with something and say "i'll do it in a bit" and literally forget about it. its seems like i am just not doing it. I really don't mind taking out the trash and actually do this quite often.. but there have been times in the past where a task was requested of me and I literally forget to to it.. It was very profound to me that we are basically continually rewiring each other to think and do things based on how we interact with out spouse.My wife is one to bottle stuff up and not say anything until things come to a head.. which is really tough for me. Feeling blindsided when she finally voices her issues. Being blindsided also, causes me to see the situation as far more grim than it might be. This in turn will cause me to over question, and i guess pester her trying to get her to open up..figuring this is my only chance to get her to finally voice her opinions..... where sometimes she might be just venting and not really want to talk about the problem..but rather just be heard. Its funny how basic this seems but how easily i've missed the mark.I might consider reading more stuff by this author. I seem to understand easily what is being said. There were many things that finally clicked. When talking with my wife about my new insights, she immediately said "i've told you that before, many times" which really proves the point that we weren't truly communicating. I wasn't really completely understanding the issue at hand. It could also be that a problem presented without talk of a solution.. which is part of understanding. If she has an issue and voices it to me, I basically need her to assume i'm a complete idiot and need her to tell me what the solution looks like to her.lol, just read the book. i would recommend it to anyone. and just might recommend it to everyone lol